Like a SleepNumber bed?

Revive your sleep desires

Make it architecturally sound.

Expand your manliness spire

Mmm-hm.

Exhaust her intensely

Is it inappropriate to make a Lance Armstrong joke here?

Doping for in-out marathons

Fist of rage!

Your blood will boil again!

How did they know my roommate is named Ed?

*!"FORGET ABOUT ED PROBLEMS NOW!"!*

Actually kind of catchy...

Best biological cocktail for making your night joy ultimate!

So sad.

One old jug without a handle

The Blitz?

For non-stop night attacks

I'm guessing you'll tell me.

Why is your love life such a disaster?

Wango Tango!

The Quangle Wangle said

This may actually be the best pitch so far

Bulldozer lovepower Enter her with bull energy!

Is this viral marketing for that Spike Jonze movie?

Become the example of insatiable bed monster

Um, think I'll pass.

Force men stuff.

Naughty Bessie!

Bessie would smuggle a cake or pastry from the feast

This isn't even spam, I'm on my butcher's email list

A neat meat surprize

Um... Beer?

To grain then go my fat to buds my sap

I'd like to see you try.

I gonna deanon you!

That's always the way

Mine ancient scars shall not be glorified

1.5

Rate my strategy

Only legal in 2 states!

Put rocket in your pocket

Who dresses tigers? How does that even work?

Tiger in underwear

I really only like their early records.

And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat

Are we sure about that?

Genious idea

As do you, sir. As do you.

You annoy me by this

I guess I'd have to

Settle warrior in your fly!

I don't even know.

Math with girl in bath

Apparently Black Francis has a new day job

Where was your mind?

...what?

Your amazing

BOOM.

Turn your bedroom life into a volcano of pleasure.

This is why you should have paid more attention in shop class

Turn your handigun into lovedriller

Yessir.

Be sure to get enough Zinc for your organism work.

Jackpot!

Steel casino

GETTING them is the disease now? I'm confused.

Cure for getting woody!

Am I the only one who thought this meant a fry-o-lator?

Equipment for Don Juans

Making 2k a month while dead would be a neat trick, too.

Find out how 19 improbable e_Bay_ sellers are making over 2k per month Living‏.

I'm grooming him to run for Governor

Lead your boner to leadership.

I'd hate to sit through a tape of mediocre shit.

Superb shit taped!

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more

Help that breeds arousal victories

Peter Jackson? Is that you?

Make your King-Kong twice larger

Imponderable

What unites geniuses?

Women will bake you pies because of your mega size.

Renaissance Man

IT consultant of perfect love making art.

It's tough to find a good mechanic

Repair your passion motor!

Whew.

She will not need a magnifying glass from now to find your tool.

I think I'd prefer it the other way round

We can't give you charm of Cazanova: But we can give you wood-on of Ron Jeremy!